Day 17

Day 17 : A book you’ve read that changed your views on something

This is a tough one, seeing as how I mostly read YA fiction... But the one book that has changed my looks on life is "The man who loved clowns" It is about a man with down syndrome. I think that everyone should read this book. In the 2nd grade our teacher read it to us and I have loved the book ever since. 

Day 16

Day 16 : Someone or something you definitely could live without. 

Something that I can totally live with out even though I think I cant is caffeine. I know that i can do it. Its just a hard thing to do. 

Day 15

Day 15 Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.

 Something I dont think that I could live without is caffienne. I am pretty sure that I would have  a heart attack! 


But a person that I wouldnt be able to live without aside from Kadence and Trevor is gonna have to be my bestfriend Kirstie. I have tried before and well to be honest life just sucked then! Of all of the people I know that lady gets me more than anyone else in the world including myself!!

This is a picture of us on her wedding day! I cried when she got married! 

 This one is from when we were 17!!

 
This is another from her wedding day. In this picture you have her husband (he is my man bestie) Kirstie and myself. These people are basically my lifeline and I would be epically lost with out them!

Day 14

Day 14 : A hero that has let you down. (letter)

I am supposed to write a letter to a hero that has let me down and to be honest I dont know if I can do that. The very first person that I saw as a hero that let me down was my mother. She was supposed to be the one that kept me safe and didnt.  A letter to her is to much for me to handle right now. 

Too Much to Handle anymore

Many people know that I have been fostering my nieces for about a month now.  Let me tell you something these girls are tough. They are 9 and 10 and they are waaaaaaaaaaay too much for me to handle I cant do it anymore. They cuss me out on a regular basis, they have taught Kadence to cuss at me. They hit me they hit my son. Now all of that is bad but has been dealt with. Molly understands that she needs to behave for me in order to be able to do anything. Emma though. Of Emma. she can be such a sweet child one second and then the devil the next! Emma tells me every day that she hates me and that she doesn't want to live with me. (i can deal with that) Emma had run away from me before because she was in trouble for hitting my son. That time I spent and hour chasing her down. But yesterday, yes yesterday Emma crossed every fucking line there ever was! Our days started out with poor little man screaming his head off because Emma's punk ass decided that it would be a good idea to wake him up by stomping  on his junk! OMFG ARE YOU SERIOUS? Yeah so while i am trying to calm my poor little guy down Emma thinks that she is going to play the Wii.. Yah, Um no get off the Wii and get your ass in the corner! She then proceeds to throw a huge fit about it saying that she didst mean to step on him.. What ever whatever. I know she did. I heard her telling her sister that she was going to do. thus the reason I was the one who snatched her up when she did. any ways fast forward to about 4 ish. Trevor is at work and has been. I ask Emma if she has fed and watered the dog. she says no I ask her why she says because SHE IS NOT MY RESPONSIBILITY! Um I'm sorry little girl last I checked you weren't my fucking responsibility and I still take care of you and feed you all the fucking. I then explained to Emma that if she doesn't go feed the dog like she was told she can go to bed right then and there she goes out to feed her and the dog MAGICALLY gets off her line. our dog is far from trained so of course she is running all over the damn yard. Emma tells me that Annie got off her line. i told her to put he back on it. She says OK.. About 10 minutes later she still isn't inside and molly has gone out to help her. I look out the window and that child is beating my dog with A FUCKING PVC PIPE!!! I fly out of the house and ask her WTF she was doing she then calmly explains to me that she is trying to get the dog all hyped up and that hitting her is OK because she is just a dog and it doesn't matter! LAST FUCKING STRAW RIGHT THERE!!!. I haul her ass inside and she is just there. she doesn't care. I tell her that she is done in my house and to go pack her stuff. she walks away calling me names whatever not a big deal at the moment. The worker was set to be at my house any time. i wait outside for her. she shows up and asks me what is going on so I tell her what has been happening. and all that jazz she then tried to tell me that it has just been a bad day and that the next day will be better. I lost it right there went all crazy white trash lady and screamed at her in my front yard. telling that I love these kids but I cant fucking do it anymore. they don't fucking listen they are putting to much stress on me. She finally agrees that she will find them another place. GREAT! fast forward to about 8 we are walking home from a friends house.. Emma then decides to runaway. I cant chase her because i have 2 other fucking kids with me. I get home and call the emergency line for the agency they are working with to let them know that this child has run away again! they tell me to call the cops and report it. Just as I am calling Emma is walked up by her aunt. Apparently she ran to their house and told her aunt and grandma that she left because I beating her!!!! OMFG REALLY CHILD REALLY? I calmly explain that no I haven't been beating her. and then tell Emma to go to bed. Which she is more than happy to do. FUCKING SHIT MAN! I cant do this anymore.

Day 13

Day 13 : A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)

The first band that comes to mind is Something Corporate. But then if I think a little more I think to when my son passed away and the some that I listened to that got me was Avril Lavigne - gone. My now when I am having a bad day I listen to Adele...  So I am going to write to all of them. 

Dear Bands/Artists that have unknowingly helped me, 

Thank you so much for writing/singing the songs you do. I adore all of your music but certain songs mean certain things to me.  Thank you for all of your unknowing help. 

Megan

Just so everyone knows I just felt like a total ass hat writing that!  

Day 12

Day 12 : Something you never get compliments on.

To be honest I cant really think of anything for this... I know that there has to be something but I cannot think of one single thing. People are pretty nice to me and I get compliment frequently. So for now I dont have anything to put for this so instead I am just going to show you guys a random picture from my computer. I am just going to pick one and add it.. :)