Marriage

Marriage.... 

Not really something that I ever thought I would want... I never wanted to be married... but then again I never wanted to have kids, settle down, or try to be a stay at home parent and here I am. I have more than settled down. I cant remember the last time I went out with just friends and no kids... And to be honest I am fine with it. I am happy. The happiest I have ever been. Trevor is the most amazing person I have ever met in my life. He is just... amazing! I love him with everything in me, I have never felt like this with anyone else. We don't fight and if we do its not a big fight more so just a few angry sentences and we are done and sitting down talking it out. Anyways... Trevor and I were talking today and some how got on the subject of people getting married.. I jokingly asked him if he would marry me and he responded that we werent really in the position to be getting married right now.. (which is true) it kind of hurt my feelings... I have told him before that I am more than willing to spend my life with him but I dont want to get married.... and here I am telling him flat out that I want to marry him and he practically tells me no. I understand that we aren't in the right position to be getting married at the moment. but still. I know that he wasnt trying to hurt my feelings or anything like but it still kind of did... sigh...